The Room
by nix99
Summary: Hermione is stuck in a mysterious room. How will she get out? Warning: trouble, snarky gits a sneaky Hermione and lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: In which Hermione is not amused**

Hermione was stuck, well and truly stuck. She glared at the stupid door that refused to open and threw another spell at it resulting in nothing yet again. After nearly two hours of hexing , cursing and kicking at it, it hadn't even moved and she had only managed to get a really sore foot when she had tried to kick it down ( not one of her best ideas she thought, but a door getting the best of her was really too much). She slumped on the cold floor and pulled a mostly edible sandwich from her bag (considering it had been forgotten in there for nearly three days it wasn't that hard and if she picked the fluff off it, it didn't taste that bad) and proceeded to try and come up with an idea that would get her out.

Now Hermione's day had not started very well, she had got up at the crack of dawn in a panic convinced that a Death Eater was sitting at the end of the bed which was totally irrational and not at all like her because she knew that the ones that weren't dead were in Azkaban but in her sleep deprived mind the clothes she had just heaped on the chair opposite the bed looked just like a man ready to murder her in her sleep. After shrieking bloody murder and getting caught up in a knot of sheets trying to get her wand, Lavender who had woken up and was not in a good mood had hexed her before she could even perform a shielding charm on herself.

After the fright Hermione couldn't get back to sleep and decided to start getting ready for the day. Having a near heart attack at five in the morning is not a god way to waken up and then realising that a complete moron has turned your hair pink is a very good way to make someone extremely cross.

Nearly two hours passed until Hermione managed to turn her hair (or birds nest depending on who you asked) to a mostly normal colour, making her late for breakfast. Throwing off her pyjamas, grabbing her clothes and bag she ran down the corridor getting dressed and pulling her hair back at the same time.

Completely out of breath she had stopped and leaned on one of the walls which was always a dangerous thing to do in Hogwarts as one never knew what could happen and the damn thing had disappeared making her land rather inelegantly on her butt in an empty room and then reappearing when she had tried to get out, leaving her stuck in what seemed to be a room with no way out but a stupid door that would not budge.

Chomping down on her cheese, ham and fluff sandwich, Hermione could come up with nothing that would help to get her out (short of blowing up one of the walls and then god knows where she would end up.)If looks could kill, the door would be dust, how dare it not open and make her miss double Potions? This train of thought took her to the incredibly yummy Potion's Master that by some kind of miracle had managed to survive the war and that just by speaking could make her thoughts pass from being perfectly innocent (and normally concentrated on potions and not killing or severely hexing Mr I-could-raise-the-IQ-of-the school-if-I-left-it a.k.a Draco and his friends Mr. as-stupid-as-the-back-end-of-a-pig a.k.a Crabbe and Mr. Slower-than-a–turtle-in-molasses a.k.a Goyle ) to oh my, he is a Sex God let's fuck him till' he passes out on the floor.

Furious, Hermione started pacing, wishing a slow and painful death to anyone that didn't get her out in the next ten minutes. Wasting time in an empty room when she could be drooling over Professor Snape was not Hermione's idea of fun.

Then Hermione in a moment of total and utter desperation committed one of the deadliest sins (thinking back on it later she was so horrified she nearly cried), she picked up her Charms book and hurled it across the room straight at the door. Whimpering she darted across the floor and picked it up (because being stressed is no reason to start throwing books) and proceeded to cuddle it and to say how sorry she was for treating it so abominably.

At that precise instant an engraving flashed on the wall in front of her. Walking closer to it she peered at it anxiously.

"He who wishes for what his heart desires will get out of the room, he who does not will have to follow the room's own desires". Well, that shouldn't be that difficult thought Hermione considering that what she wanted most was to get out and go to class. Obviously, being just one of those days, the room ignored her. Hermione growled and kicked the wall. At that instant in a puff of fowl smelling smoke a figure appeared. After sneezing and rubbing her watering eyes frantically, she saw the one person that she did not want to see when in that state ( that state being horrid hair in a murky brown/pink color, fluff and dirt all over her skirt, a half-eaten sandwich in one hand and a bashed up book in the other and red squinting eyes).

Well fuck a duck groaned Hermione.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: In which Hermione is joined by a not so unwelcome person **

As if petrified, Hermione stared horrified at Severus Snape, Potion's Master at Hogwarts and Professor totally scrumptious in Hermione's mind as he glared daggers at her.

"Miss Granger, twenty points from Gryffindor for using that foul language in front of a teacher and thirty points considering you did not deign to put an appearance in my class. I suppose you spent the time deciding the best way to kidnap one of your teachers in a vain attempt to get more attention than Potter "sneered Professor Snape looking down his nose at Hermione and looking very much the part of ex Death Eater in his black billowing coat.

Hermione cringed.

"Overgrown bat" she mumbled feeling sorry for herself. Now Hermione didn't exactly mind being stuck in a relatively small space with Snape, but him being in such a bad mood was doing nothing for her nerves and her already raging hormones were having a party just thinking what he could use that yummy voice for.

"There go another twenty points Miss Granger and now I expect a reasonable explanation for why I disappeared from my class leaving a bunch of dunderheads with potentially dangerous potions. If one of them manages to blow up anything I will consider you personally responsible and I will not be pleased if one of your insufferable classmates manages to kill himself and considering that you are not there hissing instructions in Longbottom's ear this is more than likely to happen" snapped Snape crossing his arms.

Snape's eyes were boring into Hermione's. It was exactly like trying to stare down a hippogriff. Hermione tried hard not to blink.

"I am waiting Miss Granger "he said.

"Well, it's not exactly my fault. You see Sir it was the Room, you're supposed to ask for what you're heart desires and if you don't the room will still give it to you but under its terms but obviously something must have gone wrong" said Hermione slowly rubbing her foot in a pattern on the ground and looking extremely sheepish.

"I see" he smirked at her, "are you sure I'm not you heart's desire?" he said sarcastically while he strode over the door and tried to open it.

"Humpf" , she huffed, and plopped down on the floor watching in interest as he tried everything she had already done ( including kicking, hexing, banging and using some very interesting swear words that Hermione immediately stored in the "swear words and stuff to use when I want to kill you" part of her brain).

"Well Granger I suppose I will have to bear you company until this Room decides to let us out "he said down as he sat next to her in a much more elegant way than her as she was half sprawled all over the floor with her uniform all rumpled and her hair in a mess.

She could practically feel the heat radiating from him and she very slowly leaned towards him until their arms were touching. This wasn't so bad she thought as her brain started to bring up all sort of nice images of all the things she would like to do to him. She softly moaned when she started feeling the heat radiating from his surprisingly well-defined arms.

"Miss Granger, what do you think you're doing? And why in the name of Nimue is your hair pink?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

Hermione mumbled something under her breath and tried in vain to hide the unruly mess that was on her head while trying to look at him out the corner of her eye.

"Bloody Room" snapped Snape. "Is it too much to ask for the school to do what it's supposed to do for once in its life?"

Hermione who by that time had realised that the Room had actually done what it was supposed to do and brought her heart's desire even although she was still a bit in denial -well, thought Hermione, not exactly in denial, more like selective about the reality she chose to accept- turned a nasty shade of red.

Snape stared at her, "Miss Granger, what are you not telling me?" he growled.

"Nothing", she said a bit too quickly.

Snape being Snape did not like this answer and proceeded to glare at her for a while being as nasty as he could. Seeing that Hermione was looking determinedly at the tip of her shoe and pointedly ignoring him, he decided that using Legilimency would be the easiest way to find out what had really happened. Carefully ever so carefully he eased himself into her mind. Great was his surprise when he found her mind organised very much like a wardrobe with lots of different labelled boxes. He snickered when he saw the box containing "Embarrassing moment I must not think about" and even although It was a great temptation to take a peek he passed on to the next " Hair spells that just don't seem to work on me but do on Ginny" and the next "1001 ways to call someone stupid" and finally he found the box containing " What I'm thinking now", he opened it rather quickly expecting, well who knows what he was expecting but certainly not what he saw. He had come up inside an incredible detailed fantasy involving him pounding into Granger (wearing a rather interesting slytherin green and silver corset) while she was splayed on his desk. He immediately hardened and turned a rather interesting colour of red.

Hermione noticed the change and reached the rather obvious conclusion.

"You, you, you…." She sputtered "you were in my mind you ignoble, ignorant, illegitimate progeny of parents who belong to the phyla insect."

Snape stunned, stared at her with an open mouth. His brain working overtime trying to understand how on earth this lovely young woman could even find him remotely attractive and at the same time trying to come up with something disgusting enough that would make his erection go down. ( Dumbledore and Hagrid dancing the samba in pink leopard thongs did it perfectly) and tried to come up with some excuse. Not that he needed it, he thought in a huff.

At that instant the wall of the Room flared, another engraving appearing on the flat surface.

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_This is my first fanfic so please be nice :)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: In which Hermione is shocked **

Hermione who by then had reached new levels of Snarky-bitch, level cranky mood, stomped over to the wall. Snape thought she looked rather stunning with her eyes flashing (not that he would ever confess to thinking the prize know-it-all of the school was extremely attractive and possibly one of the only people he really considered one of his equals in the school.)

"Your heart's desire has been brought to you; one kiss is the first step in the path that will lead you to liberty"

Well crap, thought Hermione, it's not like he's going to ever want to kiss me.

Snape stood up all billowing coat, snarky smile and flashing black eyes.

"Well Miss Granger seeing that we have no other option and considering the fact you are of age are you sure this is what you want? I would have thought Mr Weasley was more to your liking" he said, needing to hear that what he had seen in her mind was real and not his wishful thinking.

"No Sir, It's not like I was ever really attracted to him and to say the truth in the past year I have come to the conclusion that he is the proof evolution can go in reverse "said Hermione nibbling at her bottom lip and thinking about how absolutely annoying Ron was after he had asked her 50 billion times in the last week if she wanted to go out with him ( the concept of the word "NO" seemed to be too superior for his pea sized brain). She glanced up at Snape (who by the way was positively oozing sexiness) thinking he would be at the other side of the room as far away from her as he could. She was absolutely mortified he had seen what she was thinking, and knowing that he knew she had a crush on him was not making things easier. In fact he would probably fail every single potion she did from that day on and take away every single point Gryffindor had managed to scrape that year (Unluckily they didn't have very many since some idiot turned Professor McGonagall's long dress into a tartan mini skirt resulting in a lot of point being taken away)

She was startled when she saw him just a few inches away and instinctively took a step back. One thing was imagining Mr. Oh- so –Gorgeous- but- still- a –snarky- git snogging her senseless but a very different thing was reality when she had him just in front of her. She trembled, half in excitement half in nerves.

"Well then I don't think it will be a problem" he said, eyes softening as he looked down at her.

At that precise instant Hermione's normally 24 hour working brain totally shut down and the only thing she could think was" OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD" as her face turned nearly all the colours from under the sun. Snape smirked seeing her go green then white than a dusky rose colour and with smouldering eyes he raised his hand and caressed her cheek treating it like the most precious material in the world.

Then, slowly, ever so slowly they closed the inches that were separating them, their lips joining in an almost desperate kiss. Snape gently nibbled at her bottom lip demanding entrance to her mouth with his tongue. Hermione's arms came up and clasped themselves nearly by their own accord behind his neck pulling him closer as Snape with determined concentration deepened the kiss. Every time she though he was going to stop he just continued, leaving her trembling in his arms. She was glad he was holding her as her legs had turned to jelly. He moaned softly as they both came up for air, their eyes meeting in absolute wonder.

Bloody hell thought Hermione staring at him nearly hypnotized when he licked his lips. In her mind he was a Sex God but this, this, this was just amazing.

Snape in front of her was still reeling "Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long". He thought, accidentally quoting one of his favourite Muggle books.

They both sat down half in shock over what had just gone on between them.

Snape cleared his throat, "I think it would be a good time to start calling each other by our first names" he said, no longer using his big git persona. He stood up leaving a rather shocked Hermione on the floor and went to try the door again.

"It's not opening" he said, pushing it (even although he didn't do it with as much enthusiasm as I the beginning as he was starting to enjoy it).

"Well great, Captain Obvious" said Hermione who was still in a snit over the invasion of her mind.

"Are we going to talk about what you were doing in my mind? I don't think you would like it if I just decided to go and have a rummage through your personal thoughts. It was private and for the record I most definitely do not have a crush on you, it was just a moment of weakness" she said.

"First of all, Miss Granger, Hermione, I doubt very much you would be able to get into my mind, second of all you would probably be traumatized by what you saw in there and finally I never said I would not welcome… his voice trailed off as another message appeared on the stone wall that was opposite them.

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_This chapter is kind of short but the next one will probably be longer and there will be lemons :)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: In which Hermione is rather stunned **

"A confession from a snake and a lioness will bring freedom to all who are trapped"

"Great " thought Hermione, "like this big overgrown far too sexy git is ever going to share anything with me".

She sniffed pointedly at him and indicated with her hand that he should be the first to speak sincerely not expecting him to say anything of importance.

Snape looked at her trying to find the correct way to finish what he had been saying before. He looked at de ceiling and twirled his wand around to point at her just for the pleasure of making her jump.

"Hermione, I am not as adverse as I should about starting a relationship with you" he said closing his eyes, not wanting to see her expression and hoping with all his heart that what he had seen in her mind and what he had felt with the kiss wasn't just a product of his tortured mind.

Hermione who by then had realised that Snape (Severus, her mind corrected) had been rather enthusiastic in the kissing, stared, assessing him with her eyes and trying very hard to decide if he really meant it when he said he wanted to be in a relationship (just thinking about it made her heart race, her palms go sweaty and get a sudden urge to start jumping around the room screaming "awwwwww yeahhhhhh" in which case he would most surely run away or severely hex her) or he was just in lust with her.

"If we decide to try this, will you try and treat my friends better?" she asked, knowing perfectly well what the answer would be.

"I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people managed their stupidity" growled Snape," so if your friends decide to change their dim-witted ways I shall try and make the effort to treat them civilly…" he was interrupted by a very loud snicker coming from Hermione who knew very well that Harry and Ron would never stop being the Quidditch obsessed maniacs they were (she did love them unconditionally but now they weren't trying to kill some psychopathic killer, they did sometimes grate on her nerves) and as they absolutely detested Snape even although he had probably saved their asses more times than they could count, the boys couldn't get over the disgust of thinking that Harry's mum had probably slept with him ( for the record, he hadn't but Snape found it much more fun to let them believe this than to correct their error. It made taking points much more pleasurable), so the prospect of them behaving in a more or less civil way was kind of slim.

He looked at her in amusement "Brains aren't everything. In fact, in their case they are nothing so I shall simply ignore them" he said, with absolutely no intention of doing just that and already devising ways to extract points from them.

Hermione laughed already knowing what he was thinking and prodded him with her far too bony elbow. He yelped in a rather unsnape like way and looked down his big pointy nose at her.

"Now we have already established that you have some kind of crush on me" he said looking rather pleased with himself "and I have confessed that I would not exactly mind having some sort of relationship with you, we should be able to get out".

Hermione went over to the door and pulled the doorknob which promptly came off in her hand. "Well shit" she said, prodding the door (which was most decidedly not moving) gingerly with her wand.

"Language" he said raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms, "It is rather vulgar hearing these words coming out of your mouth, ma petit"

"I'm not vulgar; I just have a very colourful vocabulary. Fuck you very much" replied Hermione who just wanted to annoy him. She sat down next to him, leaning slightly on his shoulder.

"I'm bored" she grumbled wanting to see what he would do (the truth be told she really wanted him to snog her senseless but was too afraid to take the first step). "Tell me something"

"Like what" he asked her as he gently pulled her closer.

"Like what happened in the Final Battle".

As soon as she had blurted it out she covered her mouth with her hands, horrified, knowing that it was somewhat of a touchy subject and convinced she had put her foot in it again. She mentally hit her head against the wall (very much like Dobby did) and cursed her big mouth.

Snape stilled instantly, his mouth thinning but surprising even himself decided to answer.

"As you know Miss Granger (bother it, though Hermione, he is back to calling me that) I was a bit busy dying to really take part in a big way. Nagini's poison affects the human body in ways that are best not remembered" he said, rubbing his neck.

"But, but, but… how did you survive?" she replied open mouthed.

"I had some outside help" he said with a far away look in his eyes.

"Who?" Hermione was really curious, she tried going mentally through a list of all the people that were fighting but couldn't come up with any name that would have been at the Shrieking Shack when he was there.

" I think it is better if we leave this conversation for another day, it is sufficient to say that I now owe them my life". Snape had a haunted look on his face, like if he had seen a ghost. He shuddered violently.

Not wanting to press him for information and wanting to distract him from what seemed awful memories, she tucked the strands of ink black hair that had fallen over his face while he was speaking behind his ear and snuggled nearer hopping he wouldn't push her away.

Trying to offer comfort she kissed his neck just over the place where the silvery white scar started. It looked like someone had tried to take a chunk out of his neck and nearly managed it.

She silently sent a thank you to whoever had saved him.

Leaning in to her he turned his face, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss, tongues battling for supremacy. He pulled her to her feet, mouths never separating, holding her closer.

When they finally stopped to breathe she gazed up into his eyes. He looked ready to bolt.

Panic gripped Snape's heart "What was he doing? What he been thinking when he told her he wouldn't mind having a relationship with her? For heaven sake, she was half his age and more importantly, his pupil." He thought, his brain trying to deny what his body wanted so desperately.

Hermione, having none of it and wanting nothing more than for him to take her against the wall, pulled him down to her, trying to distract him from his thoughts.

Being a man, even although he was one of the most intelligent ones Hermione had ever met, the feel of her breasts rubbing against his chest prove to be too much and his brain suddenly stopped working, his body practically begging her to continue.

She could feel his erection through the layers of clothes that separated them her panties getting wetter by the second. No longer able to contain himself Severus kissed her so passionately her legs nearly gave way.

His erection was a rigid, painful length straining his trousers. "You can't run away from me, there is nowhere to go" she whispered. Her hand landed on his chest, straight on his heart and the other one wrapped itself in his surprisingly soft hair. He hissed as she stepped into his body. He grabbed her face, eyes shining in pure unadulterated lust, her scent telling him what her body was begging. Her hand left his chest and slowly, ever so slowly crept down in a torturing path to reach his erection.

His body jerked, breath hitching.

She stared into his eyes and rubbed her palm over his erection sending a thrill up his spine. She touched her lips against his scar and started drawing a pattern with her tongue while she undid the far too many buttons on his coat ( seriously faaaaar too many buttons her lust filled brain grumbled).

He ran his finger along her jawline and down her neck. He moved one hand, took her two wrists, pinned them behind her, under his arm. She twisted her head back leaving the smooth expansion of her creamy neck for him to do whatever he liked. He ripped her blouse open and pulled her bra down. She felt his lips on her breast suckling her nipple like a starving man. She moaned his name surprising him enough that he let her hands go. She pulled his head down thrusting her tongue into his mouth as he ground himself into her hand. His sigh of pleasure made her even more desperate as she marked his back with her nails. He pushed her against the wall in a flash and while he worked her breast with his hands and mouths, she pulled his coat and shirt off throwing them across the room.

He stared into her eyes as if asking permission .Hermione having forgotten how to speak only whimpered "Please…"

He left her only long enough to undo his trousers letting his already dripping length out and ripped her skirt and panties down. By then Hermione was panting, sweat dripping into her eyes nearly begging him to fuck her. He gripped her hips pulling her up and putting her legs around his waist, stretching them up and plunged into her.

The sensation of the warm slick heat nearly made him loose it but pulling it back together he fingered her clit while he started to pound into her.

Hermione was in heaven, clinging to him for dear life as wave after wave of sensation washed through her.

His hands clenched convulsively and his teeth set together as he heard her growl at him, telling him to go faster, harder.

She came violently, his hand on her clit and his hardness in her making it nearly impossible for him to wait any longer. The sensation of her clenching around him as she screeched his name made him come violently, pumping into her, filling her up, their orgasm going on and on as the both held each other against the shattering waves that threatened to consume them.

Sweating, they both dropped to the ground, Snape holding Hermione possessively in his lap as he murmured soothing words in her ear.

"Mine" he whispered to her, too exhausted to even think straight.

After a while they started getting dressed, mending the rather bashed up clothes they had so carelessly thrown across the room in their lust filled frenzy. Snape plucked Hermione's pink panties out her hand and smirking hid them in his coat pocket. She giggled and pinched his butt.

At that instant in a giant crash the door was flung open revealing a very grumpy looking Headmistress with Harry and Ron, all three of them pointing their wands at the door.

Hermione and Snape sprang apart, hurriedly fixing their hair and clothes.

" Mione" screamed Roan and Harry running forwards and hugging her "We couldn't find you this morning so we looked for you in the Marauder's map and saw you in here with the Greasy Git so we came as soon as we could to come and save you" they said, Ron making a very rude gesture when Snape wasn't looking.

"This is the fourth time this week this Room has tried to kidnap people, I think it must be rather bored" said Headmistress McGonagall frowning at them "But this is the first time we didn't have to blow up the wall, it seems like the Room let you go on its own accord. I'm not sure who got stuck first and I really don't want to know, at least this time I haven't had to rescue some first year whose heart's desire was to have a pet dragon and who wasn't intelligent enough to follow the instructions" she sniffed.

"Well then, Miss Granger, a hundred points from Gryffindor for wasting my precious time" said Snape and billowed off down the corridor leaving a gaping Hermione standing with the boys like if he had just punched her.

"Bloody hell, Hermione, what on earth did you have to do? That must have been a record of loosing points in one go" sniggered the boys.

The Headmistress being an ex-Gryffindor herself glared at him and threw a pen at his retreating back ( she missed, it was known all over the school that she had the worst aim ever when it came to throwing objects and not spells)

Hermione was furious. He had spoken of relationships and had seemed to be really truthful when he said he wanted it to work between them, the bastard. And now he had just ridiculed her in front of the Headmistress, her best friends and left her house absolutely no points. She narrowed her eyes, staring at the now retreating figure in the distance. Not even he was allowed to do that to her. A revenge plan was in order.

Down in the dungeons, Snape had the sinking feeling he had just seriously put his foot in it.

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_This chapter is for Dafrosia who loves lemons nearly as much as me._

_So, what do you think so far? Should I continue or leave it here?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: In which Hermione plans and plots.**

Hermione trailed behind the boys, their incessant questions giving her the mother of all headaches. Dragging her feet along the corridor she bit absent mindedly the end of her wand getting a nasty shock and making her jump half a foot in the air.

Making up her mind she quickly sneaked away from them, heading to her favourite place in the school, the library, where she proceeded to take out as many useful books as she could without getting chucked out. Bag full she returned to de Gryffindor common room avoiding all eye contact and pretending not to hear all the people that tried to start up conversation.

A few hours later Hermione sat in the middle of her bed surrounded by what she called her organized mess: piles of books everywhere, bits of ink stained parchment, cat hairs and rumpled sheets. She had started to brain storm on ways to get revenge but had lost the parchment she had been writing on and started on another which she had promptly lost as well. She patted her hair (by that time it looked like she had put her fingers in a plug) looking for the always present muggle pen she kept behind her ear for emergencies (she had accidentally sat on her last quill earlier that evening, leaving a puddle of ink all over the bed, which explained why there were blue blotches all over her pyjama) and grumbled seeing the pen at the other side of the room.

Grabbing her wand she summoned it. Chewing pens was always a good way to come up with master plans.

Standing up and looking rather like an electrocuted smurf she crossed over to the chair where there was another huge pile of books. A very small book bound in purple and silver sat between _How to train your House elf _and _303 ways for a witch to look stunning: charms, potions and spells to make you look flawless_ (Hermione had absolutely no idea how it had reached there but suspected she might have accidentally stolen it from Lavender) looking far too innocent for its own prodded it and when it didn't try to eat her hand or attack her she flipped it open trying to find something to ridicule Snape with without seriously harming him.

"Interesting" she smiled as she saw a page on especially flashy spells.

Now Hermione was not a bad person (sure, she collected the obituaries of all the Death Eaters but a girl has got to have a hobby) but Snape taking a hundred points off her house just after having most obligingly fucked her against the wall was too much, so as long as she didn't cause lasting harm a bit of revenge was needed.

Meanwhile in the dungeons a very stressed Potions Master was striding up and down pulling at his hair and grumbling. He knew he had been a complete bastard when he had left Hermione standing open-mouthed in the corridor but to tell the truth he was in a panic, it had been far too long since anyone found him minimally attractive and he had run away, (well not run away, Slytherins NEVER run way, they just quickly retreat until they have a plan of attack). He had seen the look in Hermione's eyes and was worried. A scorned witch on the path of revenge was always a dangerous threat that had to be carefully examined.

Severus had tried to apologise writing a letter but the words were just not coming out and he had only got as far as "Dear…" until he threw the crumpled parchment in the fire. He had thought of buying her a bunch of flowers or a nice book or simple throwing himself at her feet and begging her to forgive him (not that he would ever do that of course) but in a typical man decision he decided not to do anything and wait until she came to him- very bad idea if you asked any Gryffindor that had ever annoyed Hermione out of her mind (Harry once found all his clothes shrunk to the size of Barbie clothes and Ron' broom had once "accidentally" turned pink and shiny)- and took another swig of Firewhisky.

So there was Severus, getting horribly drunk, practicing his sneering and generally being a nasty git to the house elves that were trying to clear up all the mess he had made while up in her room Hermione plotted and practiced her dastardly plan that was bound to make Snape the laughing stock of the school.

The next day at breakfast Hermione sat strategically at the table so she could see the place where he normally sat (he was far too busy nursing a rather bad hangover and feeling sorry for himself to want breakfast). She wasn't sure if he was avoiding her or he was just not hungry but rapidly jumped to the mostly erroneous conclusion that it was the first option and was quite offended he wasn't even going to acknowledge her presence that morning.

After Charms, Hermione and the boys had a free period so they headed out to the Quidditch field to spy on the Slytherin team as there was a rumor going around the castle that they had found a new Seeker that was faster than Harry.

A while later Ginny arrived, grumbling that potions had been a complete and utter disaster, Snape had been so horrible to everyone that a few of the Ravenclaws had left the class crying their eyes out. People were saying that he was in a worse mood than Lord Voldemort in his prime and someone had tried to hex him, probably remembering the days when everyone was convinced he was Lord Voldemort' s right-hand man, resulting in a bloody nose, detention and an even grumpier Potion Master stomping around the school with the elegance of an elephant and flicking his wand at any first year that dared to look at him .

That day Madame Pomfrey had to treat several cases of hysterical children that couldn't stop crying or whimpering. Unluckily for the bat of the dungeons (as the boys unloving called him) the easiest way to cheer up small children was with a new product Fred and George Weasley had invented that made people smile like Demi Lovato and spurt copious amounts of white smoke through their nostrils which most definitely did not help all the other people that were in a bad mood (everyone that had crossed paths with Severus Snape or had been in his class that day).

Ginny was livid because he had failed everyone that day and spent the rest of the day stomping around the castle like a furious Hippogriff with Harry trailing behind her like a love sick puppy. It was like seeing Mrs. Weasley in one of her worst moods.

That day anyone visiting the school would have found a sight difficult to believe: smiling maniacs spurting smoke and glowering people stomping around the school like they wanted to make holes in the ground while the rest of the people just tried to ignore the lot of them.

Hermione, being Hermione, found it rather amusing.

On Wednesday the first part of the plan started. They had double Potions with the Slytherins and Hermione, for once in her life, made sure she sat right at the back of the class. The boys were thrilled because they followed her everywhere and that meant they could be as far away from the line of fire as possible.

Professor Snape crashed into class, banging the door and sat down abruptly on his desk, scowling at everyone. He put the instructions on the blackboard and snapped at everyone to get going or he would make sure that they would spent the rest of the year with no points if they didn't get a move on.

Not wanting to anger him more, in complete silence they started doing what they had been told. There was a general sensation of foreboding in the class, everyone trying their best to be as silent as possible and not attract more attention than necessary.

Snape spent the first hour of the class trying to catch Hermione's eye but she was most pointedly ignoring him, so he glided to stand behind her, his looming presence causing her to stop for a heartbeat when she caught a sniff of his sandalwood scent but she just continued stirring the nasty smelling green concoction that was in front of her.

Hermione thought she would go mad. She could just feel him staring at her back and her hormones were making it very difficult not to step back into his body, hands trembling with the need to touch him and panties getting wetter by the second, her knuckles whitened as she gripped the edge of the table willing herself not to turn around and mount him on the teacher's desk.

Snape, behind her was also having some difficulties, his trousers restraining painfully his rapidly growing erection as he watched the pail expanse of neck peeking through the bushy mass of curls blush a delicate pink.

Just when he was moving closer to brush her arm with his long fingers needing to feel her skin, Hermione put the first phase of her plan in action. Too busy fighting his own body Snape didn't realize she had put a whole spoonful too many of toad liver in the cauldron and her potion went up in one of the biggest explosions the class had ever seen.

Momentarily stunned that the know-it-all had blown up a cauldron and half deaf from the explosion he just stared at her for a full minute, the class collectively holding their breath and the Gryffindors cursing under their breath just waiting for him to try and kill someone. Everyone kept their head down, avoiding eye contact with the furious Potion's Master that was turning a rather nasty shade of purple.

"Miss Granger, detention" he shouted, glaring at the place where there had once been a cauldron and where now there was just a melted mess of copper and goo.

Hermione hung her head.

"Seven o' clock in my office" he said nastily and brushed a piece of ceiling from his arm. Unluckily for him he didn't see Hermione faintly smiling at his back as he turned around to shout at some other unfortunate soul.

* * *

_I hope you like it_

_I will probably take longer to update this time because I have to study (boooooooring!) _

_So do people want lemons in the next chapter or would you rather wait ?_

_All reviews are lovingly accepted :)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: In which Hermione gets detention.**

Seven o' clock was rapidly approaching and Hermione was putting the finishing touches on a very special charm. This charm would ensure that the spell she was going to cast would not affect the entire population of the castle and only that person that carried the charm. She had contained it in a plaster that somehow had to be stuck on the intended target, in this case Snape. She had decided to place it on the inside of his billowing coat because it was the one piece of clothing that he always wore so that meant that she had to get it off him.

Plans made, she brushed her hair in two braids and started walking down to his office.

Down in the dungeons Snape wasn't as calm; he was trying his best to clear the clutter that was in his office and not making really much progress so he decided just to leave it as it was.

He had been trying to come up with a way to apologize for what he had done to her but considering he would even make it worse by choosing the wrong way to express himself he decided that it would be better to let Hermione come to him demanding explanations or to let her get her revenge ( in the wizarding world it wasn't uncommon for witches to hex the idiots that had ridiculed them) but he really, really hopped that she wasn't going to go over the top and in case she was he told himself that he would be extra vigilant that night, using all his ex-spy tactics so not even she would manage to do anything to him.

His musing were interrupted by a loud banging on the door. He glanced at the clock, two minutes early; even in detentions she was punctual. Well, she was going to wish she wasn't because he had prepared a rather nasty punishment; after all she had done some serious damage to the school property.

Hermione was most definitely not amused when he told her she had to gut Flobberworms, they were disgusting, smelled bad and wriggled as you tried to open them up. Seriously gross.

If before she had been mad at him now she was even angrier even although her logical mind told her that he was being fair, after all, she had caused a very big explosion and damaged part of the classroom. But come on, was it too much to ask for an apology? It seemed like it was.

Snape was sitting on his desk, long legs stretched out in front of him, observing her getting dirtier by the minute. He smirked and promptly put his foot in it again.

"Miss Granger if you are doing an homage to Pippi Longstocking I suggest you should ask one of the Weasleys to show you how to manage to get a realistic orange colour."

"Very funny" she mumbled under her breath and slipped her wand out under the desk where she was gutting the disgusting insects.

Suddenly Professor Snape started noticing that is was getting quite hot in the room. He looked over to see if Hermione had done anything but seeing her so concentrated he decided she couldn't have done anything, it must have been the blasted house elves.

Hermione shrugged of her jersey and unbuttoned the top buttons of her shirt just waiting for him to take of his coat. (It had, of course, been her to silently cast a Heating spell on the room).

Sweat started trickling down his neck as he tried very hard to concentrate on the essays he was trying to correct. He looked up and sighed, pushing his hair back. It was far too hot to do anything.

Hermione was cursing silently; she had not taken into consideration the thickness of the walls in the dungeons and it was heating up far too quickly. Her shirt was sticking to her sweaty skin making it uncomfortable to work as it was restricting her motions.

By then Snape had noticed the fact and had given up entirely his work just sitting staring at the girl in front of him. Eyes glued to the bit of green bra peeking out he turned and walked around the desk and sat down on his char trying to hide the tenting in his trousers. This girl was going to be the death of him. He took of his coat, placing it neatly next to him as he wiped the sweat of his brow.

"Well damn" thought Hermione. "How was she going to get access to it if it was next to him? "

She wiped her hands and sauntered over to him, undoing just another one of her buttons. She sat on the edge of his desk and announced triumphantly "I've finished". She trailed her hand down her arm and stood up, her skirt hitching up in the process, Snape s' eyes following the path of her right arm never realized what she had been busy doing with her left as she stuck the piece of plaster containing the spell in the inside of his black coat.

She leant forwards showing more of her cleavage. "Can I leave Sir?" she asked twirling her hair.

"Dismissed" he said roughly watching as she practically skipped from the room completely forgetting that he really should have said sorry.

Once she left he quickly moved to his room grabbing his coat on the way. He sat down on an armchair in front of the fire and urgently unbuttoned his trousers releasing his erect cock.

He squeezed his thighs together. His balls were beginning to tense against his body. He knew it wouldn't be long.

He quickly pushed down his trousers completely and reclined in his black armchair, the fire just adding heat to the situation. Faster and faster he pumped his fist up and down. With his free hand he began squeezing his balls, almost as if trying to urge its release of it's built up sperm. He slowed down just long enough to squeeze some more pre-cum from its tip, once again using it to tickle the underside of his now very throbbing cock.

He needed somewhere to cum. His breathing was heavy and quick as he looked around his office frantically finally remembering the panties he had stolen from Hermione and that since then he had been carrying in his breast pocket. While one hand went back to his cock, the other lifted the panties up to his nose, breathing deeply, the smell ambrosia to his senses. He wrapped the panties around his erect cock as more pre-cum dribbled from it.  
He squeezed his thighs together just about in time with his strokes. His hand was now flying up and down his shaft. Closer and closer he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out too much longer. He opened his legs and massaged his balls some more bringing his other hand up to pinch his nipples though his shirt.  
From there he went back to full fledge masturbation. He was inching ever so close now. Aching for release he took hold of his cock once more. With a full grip, he began moving his hand up and down. He felt his balls tighten a bit more as he squeezed them with his thighs. He looked down at the panties and could just imagine Hermione's sweet mouth sucking and licking his cock. He let out a deep moan.

His hand flew up and down his cock now, at lightening quick speed. Fore finger and thumb wrapped around the head, with the rest wrapped around his shaft. Suddenly he reached the point of no return, as he gritted his teeth in the throes of passion the word his lips formed was : "Hermione".

Down in the kitchen a rather pleased Hermione was negotiating with the house elves, just putting the final touches for the next day.

* * *

_I listened to people's advice so there are no totally lemony lemons, just a half lemon ( I guess that's what you call it if only one person participates)_

_In the next chapter Hermione's plan will go into action._

_Thanks to all the people that like this story and all the reviews are really helpful. You guys are awesome._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: In which things go horribly wrong **

The next morning Hermione got up early, excitement making it nearly impossible to sleep. She skipped around the room, making as little noise as possible so as not to wake the other sleeping girls, grabbing her clothes, books and bag as she headed down to the kitchen.

She had promised the house elves she was going to stop leaving knitted clothes around the common room and in exchange had asked them to slip a very light sleeping draught in Snape's morning coffee, not enough to make him sleep or for him to notice the taste but enough to slow down his reflexes. So down she skipped to the kitchens to make sure everything was in order.

In the dungeons a very anti-morning person was just getting out of bed and trying very hard to fight the urge to get back into bed and let the dunderheads just kill each other. He groaned and still with his eyes half closed felt around the floor to find his slippers, accidentally banging his toe against the side of the bed. Mentally cursing the stupid thing he pulled himself across the room thanking Merlin the war was over and he at least could have a decent night sleep.

He pushed his hair back and didn't even bother brushing it, because seriously, would that make it any better?" Probably not" he thought to himself and unbuttoned his shirt because he had missed a hole and looked rather lopsided. Putting on his coat he walked, still have asleep, into his living room where the strong smell of his morning coffee was beckoning him. He sipped it gingerly, trying not to burn his tongue and looked around the room to see if he could find his missing boot. Once he had finished his drink he stood up and billowed his way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Hermione, who had gone back to her common room to get the boys, was practically bouncing up and down as the three of them headed for breakfast.

Poking the bowl of porridge in front of her she raised her eyes to the High table just waiting for the right moment to cast her spell on the unsuspecting Potions Master. She was set and ready for the moment.

It was going to be epic, she thought, as she took a last glance down at the book where she found the spell. Now, this charm was rather nifty, it was supposed to make the wearer of the target dance to the music of _" Witches style" _ (which had become very popular at Hogwarts after one of the Muggleborns had come back from holidays humming "_Gangam style_" and the other pupils had changed the words to be more fitting to the Wizarding World). She nearly slobbered just thinking about Snape making all the sexy moves. It was going to be fun and then hopefully they could leave all that had happened behind them and either ignore each other or become a couple (she sincerely hoped he wasn't going to Avada her).

Seeing her chance she started chanting under her breath the words to the complicated spell. As her wand started to emit a light orange glow Ron nudged Hermione with her elbow, "Oi, Mione pass me the milk" he said far too loudly in her ear making her loose concentration on what she was doing. Her wand spun out of control, glowing and sputtering strange lights. Luckily it was pointed at Snape under the table so the most anyone could see was her making strange faces.

Hermione held on to her wand for dear life. It suddenly stopped and she let out a very relieved sigh. She shouldn't have done that. Just as her shoulders were relaxing the wand vibrated and the spell was cast far too soon.

She was horrified. Eyes round she stared at Snape who wasn't doing anything other than glare at his plate of bacon and eggs.

"Well", she thought, "that wasn't that bad. It could have gone much worse. He's not dancing but at last I can try it again, obviously this time making sure that Ron, the big son of a Flobberworm, kept his hand and preferably his voice to himself."

She glanced up to the High Table, her friends never noticing anything, and scrunched her eyes up as she inspected Snape thoroughly. Not being able to see any noticeable side effects she decided to postpone her second attempt for lunch time. And this time she could ask Neville to make his Boggart in to a Snape dressed in women's clothes for the chorus.

Up at the High table Snape wasn't feeling very well, he felt drowsy and more annoyed than usual. At that instant he went totally stiff and turned his head to look at the most annoyingly beautiful student in the school that was looking at him with what seemed concern all over her face. When she looked down and sniggered he realized she was up to something.

Snape stood up abruptly and stomped elegantly (yes, there is such a thing as stomping elegantly if you are a Slytherin) down the hall to the Gryffindor table.

Just as he was nearing the resident school know-it all his body stopped working. In shock he stared aghast at Hermione, his arms started to tingle unpleasantly and in a great "Bang" he disappeared.

All heads turned to see what the noise had been, people ducked under the table or drew their wands. The older students crowded in front of the younger ones ready to fend off any attackers and the teachers sprang to their feet demanding order and silence.

At the Gryffindor table one very white and panicked young woman just sat and stared at the place where Severus Snape had just been standing.

"NONONONONONOONONO" she muttered under her breath, this could not be happening to her.

She looked up at Ron who had gallantly stood up in front of her to protect her (or the food, who knew?) and that was by now grinning like an idiot and screaming to everyone that would listen to him " The greasy git has gone! Let's celebrate" and prodded him with her fork. After all it had been partly his fault Snape had now gone missing.

At that instant Hermione started feeling strange, there were tingles all up and down her body, starting at her head her limbs were trembling violently. She couldn't control her own body and now she really was in a panic. The boys noticing something was wrong were shaking her. Suddenly the world went black and she fainted.

A few hours later Hermione was woken up by a familiar voice screaming in her ear "Miss Granger what have you done? What is the meaning of this? Fix it NOW!" the voice shouted increasing the volume.

"What in the name of Nimue had happened to her?" She groaned and flapped her hand at the person with the annoying voice. It was just making her headache worse.

"Just shut up for Merlin's sake" she shouted back.

Witch her eyes still closed she went over the events that had brought her to what she supposed was the Hospital Wing. As things started coming back to her she opened her eyes and exclaimed "Professor Snape".

No one was there. Well that was weird; she could have sworn he was shouting at her.

"Miss Granger, Miss Granger, Hermioneeeeeee" the voice continued screaming.

Hermione looked around the room still not seeing anyone. "Oh God, she had killed" him she thought in a panic. It was her ghost that was talking to her. Oh nononononoononon she had murdered him! She stood up absolutely horrified, searching the room frantically for the ghost of her former crush/ Potions Master of Hogwarts.

"Are you as stupid as your pathetic friends? Get it together, you have not killed me. I most definitely not a ghost"

That shut the screaming Hermione up."

If you aren't a ghost what on earth are you? I can't see you, are you invisible?" she said, her curiosity now awakened by the extraordinary events.

"Not invisible, I seem to be stuck in your head" said the voice of Severus Snape.

"You seem to be what?" she exclaimed catapulting from the bed expecting someone to come out and tell her it was all a joke or that she was hallucinating.

"I see you are as pea- brained as the rest of the members of the Golden Trio" sneered the voice. "Not a hallucination or a joke, unluckily" said the voice sighing "What have you done?"

Hermione clutched her head. She had a Potion's Master in her head, in her BRAIN. She had to fix that now!

"Yes you do have to fix it now" said Snape, "It's extremely unpleasant in here. Please try not to project your thoughts to me Miss Granger I most definitely not want to know the colour of Mister Weasley's underpants and incidentally the go another fifty points from Gryffindor for ticking me in here "

Just flipping great, not only was he in her head he also seemed to be able to hear all her thoughts, even the most private ones that he couldn't see when he was using Occlumency. She quickly grabbed the jersey someone had left next to her bed and tried to move her hand, which decided not to obey. Suddenly it jumped and grabbed a quill.

"It seems like I have a minimum use of your body Miss Granger" said Snape, the laugh evident in his voice even through the angry tone.

"Let my hand go now" she screamed silently in her head.

"I have to tell the Headmistress I will be absent for a while" he said as her hand summoned a parchment and a quill and proceeded to write a rather lengthy letter to the Headmistress.

She was livid, only Merlin knew what he would do with her body now he could get control of it.

She thanked the stars as Professor Snape voice made an act of presence in her head again "I only seem to be able to control your right arm Miss Granger, or may I call you Hermione? I apologise for my behaviour earlier this week, can we now concentrate on a way to get me out of here. I would very much like to have my body back"

Oh so now he was apologising, she supposed she was going to have to accept, after all it was her fault his was now in this situation.

Hoping to find a way to get him out (opinion that was loudly shared by Snape who was still very angry he couldn't walk around on his own and was calling her every name under the sun now she had accepted the apology and he didn't have to be nice for her to cooperate any more) or at least shut him up for a while she started walking towards the library.

* * *

_This chapter is for Eminator and Pellaeonthewingedlion just because they are the people that have left most reviews and I just looooove reviews.**  
**_

_Thanks also to all the other people that have voiced their opinion or have put this story on their favourite list._

_All opinions are taken into consideration so please, please tell me what you think of this so far. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: In which secrets are revealed **

A while later Hermione was sitting in the library, surrounded by piles of books and trying very hard to ignore Snape as neither of them was reading at the same rhythm and one of them was constantly complaining that the other one was going too fast or too slow. It was making progress rather difficult.

Hermione sighed and started shrinking all the books she needed so she could take them to her room. Just as she was putting the last of the books in her bag a very annoyed Headmistress strode angrily into the library, closely followed by Madam Pomfrey who was clutching her hat as she ran behind her.

"Miss. Granger, what do you think you are doing? You should be in the hospital wing. You nearly gave Madam Pomfrey a heart attack when she came back to check on you" said the Headmistress staring worriedly at her star pupil.

"I'm fine, I think I was just a bit overtired" answered Hermione avoiding her eyes and staring at the floor.

"Well at least take a day off and have a nice nap, dear" said Madam Pomfrey as she fussed over her, checking all her vitals and prodding her sharply with her wand.

Hermione and Snape thought this was a good idea, they had not managed to coordinate Hermione's arms yet and she looked a bit like a windmill. It was getting difficult hiding the fact from McGonagall so it would just be better for them to hide up in her room until they managed to find a solution to their problems or at least they found a way to stop Hermione looking like a complete klutz.

Once Hermione had managed to escape the worried ladies she headed up to her room clutching her right hand with her left.

She sat down on her bed and stared at the wall. "Far too much red" Snape groused in her head. Her right hand reached on its own accord and grabbed her wand and proceeded to turn her bed into a green nightmare. Snape snickered.

"Not funny" scowled Hermione trying very hard not to move her lips as she talked in her head, it would not do if people started thinking she had gone nuts. "Red is nice, I like red and it's my bed so shut it". She turned it to a flaming colour of red.

"You mean our bed" he said as he turned it into a more subdued shade of green.

The red, green, red, green conversation lasted the better half of an hour until they finally decided that the bed wouldn't be either of the colours and it would just have to be black and gold (too tacky for Hermione's taste and too golden for Snape's taste but at least they had combined colours).

Hermione just hoped nobody would comment on the changes and if they did they would probably find themselves at the other side of her wand, being very severely hexed (her patience had been worn down by Snape who was insisting on being annoying and coming up with inappropriate comments about what was lurking about in her brain).

She had had enough even although it had been her fault. She grabbed a stick of incense and sad down cross-legged on the floor trying to put up walls that would at least close of her subconscious and memories from him. It was made harder by Snape singing loudly: "One death eater went to mow, went to mow a meadow. One death eater and his dragon went to mow a meadow. Two death eaters went to mow, went to mow a meadow. Two death eaters, one death eater and his dragon went to mow a meadow…" (he wasn't trying to be annoying it was just that he was having fun spying on all the stupid things Potter had done over the years and he had found a succulent memory of him turning his nose into a trunk by accident so he really, really didn't want Hermione to put walls up.) Once he had reached the sixty death eater went to mow, Hermione finally managed to block him out. In a great whoop of happiness at this little victory over the spell, she did her happy dance. Snape thought it looked insane person losing control. He sniffed and though about extracting more points but came to the conclusion that if he really angered her she could make his life veeeery miserable and anyhow it was kind of complicated to extract points when no one could hear him except the person whose points he was trying to take away.

Hermione stopped her stupid dancing around when a fancy looking house elf dressed in the slytherin colours appeared in the room carrying a plate full of food. The elf bowed and with a crack disappeared leaving the tray at Hermione feet.

"My personal house elf" said Snape "And before you say anything I have tried in numerous occasions to free him, he just doesn't seem to want to go."

Hermione harrumphed and stared at the food. "I'm most definitely not eating liver. That is disgusting" she said as she vanished the plate grimacing.

"That's my favourite food" the voice in her head shouted.

"Well bad luck, it's going to have to be in my mouth and anyhow you can't taste it" she said as she nibbled on the cheese sandwich.

Hermione paused in mid bite her mind racing. "How did your elf know to bring me your favourite food? You're not even supposed to be here" she said, terrified the Headmistress would somehow discover what she had done. "I'm going to be expelled!" she wailed.

"Calm down, you are not going to be expelled" grumbled Snape and used her hand to cover her mouth to stop the screaming. "We share a bond; he always knows where I am".

"I didn't know wizards could bond with house elves". Hermione wailing fit having rapidly subsided when this piece of interesting information had been produced.

"He is… special" said Snape, trying and failing to end the conversation.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you would have figured it out by now Hermione" he said softly.

Hermione's brain whirred in frantic activity as she tried to figure out what he meant. He couldn't have been a gift from his family, he couldn't have been a capture in the war, he couldn't have been bought, and he couldn't have offered his service from another family, so that only left….

"Oh my God, oh my God, Oh my God" screeched Hermione, totally forgetting that talking on her own made her look like a raving lunatic.

"Shush Miss Granger, Hermione; remember to use your mind to speak to me. I see you have reached a conclusion"

Hermione was bouncing up and down a lot like the way she did in class when she knew the answer to a question she very badly wanted to answer.

"He, he, he… saved you. That's why I couldn't remember anyone being missing from the battle to attend you".

"Yes" said Snape gravely. "House elf magic is more powerful than most people believe. I offered him whatever he wanted, after all I owed him my life but all he wanted was to become my personal house elf or how he put it: the personal house elf to the most illustrious house of Snape. I couldn't say no to him"

Hermione sat down, too stunned to speak.

After a while of silence and trying not to go back to the conversation they went back to inspecting the books. (Hermione was just waiting to bring it up again but decided not to in case all the progress she had made with him went down the drain)

They spent the afternoon bickering, fighting and generally annoying each other with every time more hare-brained theories on how to get out of the sticky situation they were in.

Exhausted Hermione decided to go and have a shower. Closing her eyes she got undressed and groped her way around the bathroom and stepped into the shower. It was rather frustrating. She couldn't see but if she opened her eyes Snape could see everything she was doing. Not that he minded he had rapidly assured her but Hermione thought he didn't need to see her naked (even if he had already seen her in that state. So after a lot of fighting, hand coordinating, bubbles and slippery floor she managed to get herself clean (more or less thought Snape sniggering as he had realised she still had a clump of soap in her hair.)

What Hermione hadn't exactly realised was that Snape could feel everything she could feel with her body so it was quite a fascinating experience for him as she used both hands to spread lotion all over her body making them both tingle (which was weird if you consider he didn't have a body).

After getting into her fuzzy pink pyjamas (Snape used her right arm to slap her over the back of the head for this pink offense) she grabbed a Mars bar and happily munching it she settled into bed hoping the next day was going to be better.

Once she had assured all her dorm mates that she really was well and she wasn't going to die in the middle of the night she closed her eyes and snuggled deeper under the covers.

After a few hours of tossing and turning, her brain refusing to shut down and Snape refusing to shut up she decided she had had enough of it. She closed her eyes again and decided to create a mental image that would make Snape very, very uncomfortable and hopefully make him shut up.

Smiling slightly her brain started to create the mental image of two men. One dark haired one blond haired and both of them naked.

She smirked as she decided what she could make them do in her mind. The possibilities were endless. Making up her mind, the fantasy started to play out for only Snape's eyes to see…

* * *

_Here goes another chapter, I hope you like it._

_Reviews always help me write faster and especially now that I am trying very hard to avoid doing stupid accounting problems, at least I think that is how you say it in English :s ( I mean, come on, who was the dunderhead that decided law students have to study accounting/ auditing? or however you say it... Gah I haaate numbers) They are killing my Muse... just joking, not killing just smothering under enormous piles of work._

_The next chapter will most likely be up by the weekend and not only will it have a sexy naked Snape in it it will also have a blond wizard we all know very well... _


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: In which progress is made**

In Hermione's mind, Snape pressed himself against Lucius, his hand trailing down his chest, tweaking his nipples on the way. Down his hand trailed to Lucius's hard erection. He moaned in appreciation, his head falling backwards on Snape's shoulder.

The imaginary Snape gave a saucy wink - which he would never have done in real life - and wrapped one hand around Lucius's cock milking out a drop of pre-cum. Lucius gave a very un- Lucius smile as he turned around and brushed his fingers over the head of Snape's cock. He positioned Snape for optimum view and then dropped to his knees. He cupped his tight ass and then enveloped him in his mouth. Lucius started to suck, his cheeks hollowing with each swish of his tongue. Urged by the grip of Lucius's hand on his ass, Snape began thrusting in earnest into his mouth. He showed every sign of loving it, his face alight with pleasure. Lucius was now sucking Snape's cock like his life depended on it…

Hermione's fantasy was loudly interrupted by the real Snape gagging. He was absolutely disgusted by what he was seeing. It wasn't that he had anything against people preferring other people of their own sex (it wasn't uncommon between the Death Eaters) but seeing himself having sex with someone he had once called a friend was absolutely horrifying. The little minx was torturing him.

It was rather disturbing especially because even although his own mind didn't like what he was seeing, Hermione's body was reacting ever so slightly to what she was imagining and that was also affecting him. Getting thrills from Hermione's body wouldn't have been a bad thing if the fantasy had been different he mussed to himself.

"Alright Granger I will shut up for the night" he huffed, desperately hoping to distract her.

Hermione giggled, buried deeper under the covers and in no time she was drifting off into la la land.

The next morning she awoke fervently praying that by some kind of miracle Snape was going to be out her head or even better, that it had all been a dream.

No such luck. "Severus" she growled as she stared at what had once been her favourite pair of fluffy pink pyjamas and was now a very sexy see-through silver and green negligée. Cursing him she grabbed her sheet and hastily wrapped it around herself before any of the other girls noticed what she was wearing.

"Flubberworm brain" she grumbled under her breath as Snape made his appearance in her brain by laughing so hard her whole brain thundered. "So not funny" though Hermione still bleary eyed and dragging herself to the bathroom to try and sort out the frizz bomb on her head.

Closing her eyes she stripped off and got into her school uniform at the same time ignoring Snape who kept insisting he really didn't mind if she kept her eyes open.

Hermione was seriously starting to consider drastic measures to get him out. Using a hook like the Egyptians used to use to take the brain out through the nose was the latest possibility she had started to think about it but instead of taking the brain she could try and drag Snape out. Of course she wasn't stupid enough to try it but it was rapidly getting exasperating.

She went down to the common room to wait for Harry and Ron.

"Oi, Mione, did you know the Greasy Git has left? About time if you asked me" smiled Ron as he bounced down the stairs, a big grin on his face as the thought of not having to do Potions was one of the best feelings in the world for him.

Snape was not amused. He used Hermione's hand to make an extremely rude gesture at him.

"Well, he looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." Snapped Snape.

Hermione rolled her eyes , linked her arms with the boys and walked down the corridor down to breakfast at the same time trying to convince Ron that she hadn't been rude to him, she was only doing a rude gesture to one of the fourth years that had stood on her Transfigurations book.

"Of course" Snape said sarcastically "You're not even capable of telling your friends what is wrong".

"I'm not going to tell them. They will start avoiding me just to avoid you" she grumbled silently and stuffed a spoonful of porridge in her mouth just to avoid Harry's questions on how she felt.

The first class of the day was Charms. Hermione and Snape were worried because they hadn't managed to coordinate her arms so they decided the best idea was for her to do all the spells just with her right hand just because Snape could have done it with her right arm but it wasn't his best subject and neither of them wanted the teacher to notice them.

After successfully avoiding attracting attention Hermione was horrified to discover that the next class was Potions and in the absence of Snape, Headmistress McGonagall was going to be in charge of the class.

"I'll take charge on this one" said Snape smiling to himself. After all, two days without being able to brew were starting to get to him.

Just before entering class Ron grabbed her arm and pulled her around the corner.

"What do you want? We're going to be late" said Hermione looking at him and tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend" blurted Ron

"We always go together to Hogsmeade" she replied glancing down at her watch.

"Yes, but together like on a date this time" he said, blushing bright red.

"Not again" she groaned to Snape. "Ron you known I don't like as more than a friend"

"But we could just try it" he pleaded.

Snape was furious. How dare the little brat try and take what was his? Hermione's right hand lifted and smacked Ron over the head.

"No is no, for the billionth time Ron. Get a dictionary and look up the word no" said Hermione improvising as she really didn't want to explain why she had smacked him.

Ron glared at her "All right, Miss frigid, I would like to see anyone wanting to date you that wasn't me" and stomped off to Potions."

Well thank Merlin she hadn't accepted the date she mussed to herself. Surprisingly she was kind of grateful Snape had hit him. At least this way he would stop asking her out every time he saw her.

"I would date you" said Snape softly.

"Ah so now you would date me?" grumbled Hermione bringing up pictures of him storming away as McGonagall questioned her about the room where they had been stuck.

"Not one of my better moments, I admit" he said as Hermione walked into the Potions class.

"When I get out we'll go on a proper date"

Hermione sniffed .Inside she was thrilled but that didn't mean she was going to tell him. He could suffer for a while. Snape smirked as he was able to feel her excitement without her knowing.

They got on as best they could with the Engorging Potion they had to do.

Hermione could just feel Ron glaring at her back. He and Harry had refused to sit with her after what had happened. She just knew he was going to go running and crying to Harry about how mean she was. So now she had to sit with Seamus Finnigan who had a tendency to set things on fire.

Hermione let her mind wander as Snape was doing everything for her. His Potions skill miles above everyone else's he brewed, stirred and added ingredients at the speed of light only using Hermione's right hand.

She was going over every single book she had ever read trying to find a solution to the problem because if they continued like this it was more than probable one of them was going to go insane. She came up with zero. At this rate of Snape didn't manage to come up with a solution they were going to have to ask the Headmistress to help them or they were going to have to leave the school to get outside help.

Snape finished with time to spare and spent the rest of the class complaining to Hermione about the lack of skill all the idiots in her class had with Potions. He was driving her up the wall.

Luckily time was up and Hermione rushed out the class to avoid having to speak to Harry who was pushing past the other Gryffindors to get to her.

She grabbed a sandwich from the lunch table and hid behind a statue and happily munched away as she argued with Snape about new ways to get him out.

Thank Merlin the next class after lunch was Arythmancy which she didn't share with Harry and Ron and at least that way she could come up with some sort of explanation about her unusual behaviour.

Snape was bored, as in incredibly and utterly bored. Arythmancy had never been one of his favourite subjects. He really wished he could go to his office and read a good book without Granger to pass the pages.

A bored Snape was always a problem. Once he had finished picking Hermione's brain and had tried having a conversation with her (she was ignoring him and trying to pay attention) he decided to annoy her a little. If she had managed to distract him with fantasies he was going to do exactly the same but with ones he could also enjoy.

He imagined Hermione in a long silk dress, her breasts rolling lazily under the silk, her nipples hardening against him, making him want them in his mouth. He sensed the arousal in her skin as he kissed her jaw and along her neck, his hands stroking her through the silk, down her back and over her buttocks, sliding round, and cupping her lightly between the legs. She sighed and writhed against his palm. The subtle extra pressure between her legs as he raised her made her gasp once, but his face, nuzzling under the silk strip and finding the skin of her breast, made her gasp even louder.

She wrapped her legs around his hard stomach as he kissed her nipples and they dreamily, offering her stomach and abdomen to his lips before swimming around behind him when his kisses got to her hips, pulling his top off over his head.

He laughed and tossed her into the bedroom toward the enormous cloud of his bed, grabbing one end of the silk and setting her twisting in the air like a spinning-top. A delightfully unravelling one…

Snape let her turn slowly in the air as he removed the rest of his clothes and watched her nakedness reveal itself to him.

She caught the swing of her hair and pulled it back off her face, tipping her lips, slightly parted, up to him and sharing a breath as they kissed and released tongues and moans into each other's mouths.

Her naked front pressed against a descending stream of kisses, nips and licks as she floated up in front of him, powerless in his grip as he poised her hips effortlessly above his face, and lowered her onto his tipped up mouth.

The full blossom between her legs had never been more enticing to him than it was now, the dewy moisture collecting around her pink lips as he ran his tongue between them…

"STOP" screamed Hermione at the top of her voice. The entire class turned and stared at her.

"Miss Granger what is the problem?" asked Professor Vector raising her eyebrows at the red-faced young woman in front of her.

"Nothing" stammered Hermione trying very hard to ignore Snape laughing and the wetness of her panties.

"I think you should go to the Hospital Wing, I fear you are not quite well" said Professor Vector.

Hermione hardly waited to reply and practically ran out the class.

"I'm going to kill you" she screamed at Snape. "How in the name of Nimue am I supposed to concentrate with you doing that? Fix it now!"

Hermione was practically trembling with need as she ran to her empty dorm room. "I suppose by what you have been showing me you won't be adverse to what I'm about do" she said ripping her clothes off.

Snape was stunned. He hadn't thought she was going to react so much to his fantasies. But of course, who was he to complain…

She let her other hand drop down past her tummy to caress the top of her bare thigh. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back, wondering if she should pleasure herself, or perhaps only tease. Her fingers roamed over her breast, pausing to roll a nipple. She licked her lips in anticipation.

Her hand moved slowly from her y thigh to her soft pubic mound. She brushed one fingertip lightly against her clitoris. Snape was practically hyperventilating.

"Let me Hermione, let go, I will do the work" he said as he lifted Hermione's arm.

"Stand in front of the mirror" he ordered, that would let him see what he was doing, making the thrill even bigger for him.

Hermione's breath increased. She closed her eyes as her hand rubbed against her clitoris in mesmerizing circles. It sent a quiver of pleasure into both of them. Snape moaned softly.

Hermione cupped her left breast as Snape used her right hand to continue to work erotic magic on her clit. As if transfixed, her eyes slid open and she stared at her flushed face in the mirror. She gasped as Snape slid her fingers into her dripping vagina. Her pussy quivered, sending throbs of arousal through both of them. The sensation was almost like having sex, yet with an edge of teasing, not satisfaction.

Squirming beneath his sensual ministrations, she forced herself to stand closer and peered into the mirror. She wanted him to witness her orgasm.

Her legs opened as he made her fingers pump in and out a little faster.

Abruptly, he stopped. Her desire just below the threshold of orgasm, and they both moaned in delicious frustration.

She stared intently at her hard, pointed nipples and damp, glistening thighs. Sliding up to within a few inches of the glass, he used her hand to part the soft curls concealing her mound and rubbed the swollen nub of flesh buried just inside the tingling folds of her pussy. She gasped and felt her entire body quiver in response. Her free hand found a nipple and squeezed, increasing the sensation to almost irresistible levels. Her orgasm began to build deep inside her body. She was shivering almost continually now, her eyes fighting to remain open.

"That's it my little minx" he moaned softly as he continued using her hand to touch herself. Snape was in seventh heaven it was incredible to feel and see her body in that state.

Sweat glistened across her upper arms, as the heat of her blood caused her body to flush with more and more warmth. Faster and faster he moved her hand, her slippery fingertips running in circles across her feverish, pulsing clit. The soft inner wetness of her pussy increased and they both moaned again, eyes fluttering. She watched herself draw ever closer to total release, marveling at the incredible sensations that were sweeping through her entire body. She tapped the aroused node of flesh protruding from her soaking pussy, toying with it, stroking it, ever harder, until at long last her orgasm swelled beyond all restraint. The knowledge that he was seeing and was part of what was happening making the experience even more incredible and thrilling for her.

She went up on tiptoe as she came, the incredible climax raging through her nearly helpless body. He was able to feel the inner walls of her pussy contract and release. Her clit throbbed and pulsed and all strength drained from both of them as her orgasm erupted.

After what seemed an eternity, they sighed as the orgasm receded into beautiful afterglow. On wobbly legs she reached the bed and sat, letting herself fall against the pillow.

Snape felt rather smug he was able to make his witch feel like that. He had earlier in the morning come to the conclusion the she was his and no one was ever going to touch her except him. Now he just had to convince her of that.

Unknowingly to him Hermione had managed to grasp that train of thought and was quite pleased about it. Now she just had to make him say it.

At that instant in a moment of extreme inspiration Snape announced "I know how to get out, or at least I think so"…

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_I hope you like it :)_

_Thanks to everyone that is following this story_

_I have to say I'm not exactly sure how to continue... but I suppose I'll come up with something._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: In which sneaky plans are made and a party takes place**

Hermione lifted her head from the pillow still half stunned.

"What do you mean?" She asked, hoping he had finally come up with a solution.

"Well, we could try and find the Room again and ask it for our hearts desire. I'm not sure if it would work for you as it has already given you what you wanted – much to Hermione's embarrassment he snickered rather loudly at this - but I think if I asked for my heart's desire it might let me. And considering that what I want most at this precise instant is to get out of your far too full brain it might just work… he trailed off hopefully.

"I don't see why not" said Hermione sitting up and grabbing her clothes. She ran down the stairs into the common room (thankfully it was still empty as classes had not yet finished) and raced past de Fat Lady to the place where she had fallen through the wall.

She stared at the place where it should have been and tapped the wall. Nothing happened.

"Try again" said Snape anxiously.

She kicked the wall. Still nothing happened. Hermione glared at the stones and rubbed her poor abused toes which she had smashed against the wall.

"It's not there" she growled.

"Don't tell me" said Snape, sarcasm dripping from each word. "The castle must have reorganised again. It is nearly impossible to find anything in this place if you don't ask the portraits."

"Well we can't jolly well go and ask them, they'll just go and tell McGonagall we're looking for it" She snapped back and slid down the wall to sit on the cold floor.

"We could try checking around the castle" he said.

"Oh shut up, that won't work" said Hermione sucking the end of hair and thinking.

A second later she jumped to her feet. "The Marauder's Map" she exclaimed.

"Now you only need to get it from Potter" said Snape sounding doubtful.

"Bother it". Hermione was not amused. No way was Harry going to lend her the map after the way she and Snape had treated Ron. She was just going to have to steal it.

Snape was rather pleased at her new found Slytherin tactics and silently laughed as she stormed down the corridor avoiding all the people that were just coming out of class.

Muttering the password to the Fat Lady she ground to a halt as Harry and Ron blocked her path.

"What on Earth is your problem Mione?" said Harry, crossing his arms.

Hermione was frantically trying to come up with some kind of excuse for her behaviour. She did love them like brothers but sometimes she just wanted to strangle them.

"Ummmmmmm girl problems… you know what that can be like" she stammered going red.

The boys went an unflattering colour of green and backed away like she was going to bite them.

"Ah ok, well then I guess we will just leave you alone until you feel better" they said and started backing away.

"Are you coming to the Halloween party?" said Ron using his best puppy-dog eyes.

"Hmm yes" said Hermione that had completely forgotten about Halloween even although she had spent the day surrounded by pumpkins, bats and other not -so-nice-to-look- at animals.

The boys rushed off talking loudly about crazy girls.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, you'd think men would get over a little bit of blood every month" groused Hermione to a silent Snape that was trying his best to avoid a conversation on that topic.

Rapidly changing the subject Snape started to create a plan that would let them get the map.

They decided to do it the easiest way and avoid asking Harry for it as it would only make him suspicious so after arguing for a while they managed to agree on the fact that the best way was to go down to the Halloween party and when everyone was too busy dancing and drinking they would just have to sneak up to the boys dorm and steal the map (or borrow as Hermione told Snape who had different ideas on the policies of giving something back once it was in your power).

Hermione dragged her feet to her dorm where all the other girls were already primping and getting into their outfits. There was a sexy fairy, a sexy vampire, a sexy healer and a sexy cat. Hermione groaned and flopped down on the bed covering her eyes. It wasn't that she minded people wearing ultra-revealing outfits it was just that she couldn't be bothered to spend the entire night casting warming charms on herself because her dress showed more than what it covered.

Lavender was twirling around the room, her fairy wings letting off great clouds of pink glitter everywhere and her breasts practically hanging out of the skimpy dress.

Hermione sniffed and pointed her nose up in the air. Snape gagged at the pink monstrosity. She instantly felt better.

"You should be getting ready" said Snape "I hope for your own sake you haven't decided to wear anything like what they are wearing" he said nastily.

"It's not like you would have to wear it" Hermione grumbled, knowing very well that she wouldn't wear anything like that even if it was the last dress on the world.

"No I wouldn't but I would feel the pink glitter seeping through your skin" he shuddered as he mumbled something about stupid women and their stupid manias of wearing costumes that wouldn't cover a three year old.

Hermione grinned, waved to the other girls that were already leaving and pulled out her costume (she had finally managed to remember where she had stashed it after she had unpacked her trunk at the beginning of the year)

"This is worse than pink" shouted Snape horrified, looking at the thing she held in her hands.

"You are not wearing that! I will hex you myself if I am forced to bear being in someone that is going to wear that, that, that…. THING!. Hermione could feel him glaring at the costume, his eyes boring a hole through her head.

"It's a giant pumpkin!" shouted Snape at the top of his lungs "That should be illegal".

"Oh so what do you propose Mister Perfect?" she scowled starring lovingly at the enormous orange thing in her arms.

"Anything but that" he pleaded desperately.

He shouldn't have said that.

About half an hour later a very Snapish looking Hermione billowed down to the Great Hall. Snape's coat trailing behind her like a black cloud and her dyed black hair swirling in the constant breeze that always seemed to fill Hogwarts's corridors. Needless to say, Severus Snape was not amused.

Hermione on the other hand found it kind of satisfying to watch the youngest members of the school flee in terror thinking she was the detested-by-all Potions Master (which she was in a way).

"You're a bad influence on me" she giggled to Snape as he pouted and refused to speak.

The boys were stunned to see her like that. Ron found it hilarious and spent the next ten minutes telling everyone that came near them that he just wished that Snape could see what she was wearing. Snape started considering homicide.

The Room was decorated with floating pumpkins and candles and there were bats flying around. Combining that with the stormy looking sky that made up the ceiling of the Hall it was the perfect setting for a Halloween party. The ghosts had been invited and were gliding around leaving the unfortunate people that accidentally passed through them shivering in their cold trail.

Most of the pupils and teachers were dancing to the band that was playing at one side. Hermione and Snape grimaced at the same time as a drunken Hagrid tripped by, dancing with Professor Sprout.

Ginny grabbed Harry by the hand and dragged him to the dance floor winking at Ron as she led him away.

Ron pulled a very unwilling Hermione behind them. He clasped her in his arms and did his take on the waltz (that is, a lot of feet trampling and no sense of rhythm waltz) and led her around the room. He had been drinking before they had arrived and that made him bold. As they twirled around the room his hands inched themselves down to her bottom. Hermione froze.

Snape was furious and proceeded to shrink his balls with Hermione's wand. Hermione who was practically foaming at the mouth silently approved of what Snape had done. As Ron cupped his groin area with his hands looking up at Hermione with pleading eyes she kicked him rather hard on the shin and stormed away leaving half the school gaping at her retreating figure.

"And that is the way to leave in style" smiled Hermione glancing back and making sure nobody was following her as she climbed into the Gryffindor Common Room.

It was common knowledge that the boys couldn't go into the girls room but the girls could go into the boys (not that they ever did, after all the smell of stinky socks reached the Common Room) so Hermione tip toed gingerly up the stairs ignoring Snape's comments on how she was as silent as an elephant in a stampede. (Well she was, he grumped)

Covering her nose and mouth with her hand, Snape used the right hand to rummage in Harry's trunk.

He grabbed at a piece of paper and grimaced as he chucked a Muggle porn magazine on the bed. Hermione snickered and holding her breath started helping him.

No, not a book, no, not a half chewed piece of parchment, no, not a photo of Harry and Ginny... and finally they managed to find the map.

Gasping for air and stuffing all the things back in the trunk they fled the scene of the crime like if the boys' room was Chernobyl (the air probably was poisonous, not that they ever noticed).

Spreading the map out on her bed, Snape inspected it curiously and began looking for The Room.

A while later a triumphant Hermione found it on the third floor of the East Tower.

They raced across Hogwarts, billowing (Hermione had completely forgotten she was still dressed up as Snape) ignoring all the drunk portraits that were stumbling into each other's frames and giggling and huffing and puffing up the stairs the finally managed to reach their destination.

Catching her breath, Hermione stood up straight and pressed her hand against the wall…

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_I hope you like it. I will update whenever I can because I really, really have to study (I always say the same even although I will probably end up doing everything the day before the exam.. :S)_

_Thanks to everyone that is following this story and to all the people that are leaving reviews._

_xSerenityIsn'tAlwaystheAnswerx you said that I made you love that pairing, that comment just made my day ;) Love, love Snamione, they will always be my OTP and people sharing this opinion never stops thrilling me._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: In which there are lions and snakes**

Catching her breath, Hermione stood up straight and pressed her hand against the wall and stumbled straight into the Room.

She turned and stared at the now closing wall that wasn't going to let them out until Snape confessed his heart's desire.

"Well get on with it, we haven't got all night" she said tapping her foot impatiently on the ground.

"Do I have to say it out loud? Because if I do it's going to be a problem" he said.

"Just think it; I suppose this stupid thing will manage to understand it". Hermione was not a patient person and she really, really wanted her mind back and it wouldn't hurt that by getting him out her mind she would have him in the flesh.

"Here goes". Snape went very quiet as he thought of what he really wanted, hoping with all his heart he would be able to get his body back.

Everything went dark.

Panic mode on, Hermione was starting to worry things were not going to work. She reached out and touched the wall reassuringly. She couldn't even see her own hand.

"Severus?" she asked gnawing on her bottom lip.

Suddenly in a flash of bright light she was blown backwards, the force of it making her lose control of her limbs. The last thing she saw before cracking her head on something very hard were the walls opening into what looked like someone' s bedroom and a second body flying through the air.

Groaning she lifted her hand to her head and winced when she touched the egg size lump that was on it. Opening her eyes gingerly she looked around what she supposed were Snape's private chambers (all the black, silver and green made in not very hard to guess who it belonged to), standing up she glanced around frantically. Where oh where was the man?.

Spotting him lying on the other side of the room she rushed to his side, her heart nearly beating out of her chest as she say his deathly pallor.

"Oh God I really have killed him now" she screeched throwing herself over him and sobbing like the world was going to end.

"Miss Granger" he snapped without opening his eyes " No, this time you haven't killed me either but if you continue trying to suffocate me I very well might die in the next ten seconds" he said turning slightly blue from the lack of oxygen as Hermione was not letting him breathe.

She hugged him hard, thanking Merlin nothing bad had happened.

Snape got to his feet brushing his robes off and helped Hermione to her feet. She promptly winced, her muscles screaming in pain and her body black and blue after the nasty bang she had given herself on the bookshelf that was in the corner of Snape's room.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Did you get hurt?" he asked assessing all the bruising that had started appearing.

"I'll be fine" she grumbled rubbing her arm.

"Undress, I will give you a massage" he announced not giving her a chance to say no.

Well, she wasn't going to complain if he wanted to do it. She smiled at his back as he started mixing up different herbs to put in the cream he was going to use on her.

She nervously disrobed until she was fully nude. She got under the sheet and lay quietly waiting for Severus to join her, her muscles cramping badly from where she had been thrown across the room. She heard him arrive, his soft footsteps drawing nearer and nearer, the sheet that had been fully covering her was softy folded down until it was tucked into her hips and only covered from her behind down. She heard the sounds of cream being dispensed and hands rubbing together and then she felt the warm wet hands descend on her back. She heard herself slowly moan before she could stop it. Hermione could feel him take his thumbs and trace away from her spine in just the right pressure that felt enjoyable, painful and soothing all at the same time. Yet she still felt tense. He continued to work his way around her back in such a fashion she couldn't even figure out exactly how he moved. It felt as if there were five hands touching her back instead of two. She melted into the bed and felt the comfort and relaxation starting to finally set in as she nearly fell asleep under his amazing finger tips.

He worked his way down her back finally resting at the top of her buttocks slowly circling his fingers over her skin. Suddenly the room felt incredibly hot as she felt all the blood flow to the tip of her swollen nub.

Snape continued to touch and manipulate her skin.

Goose bumps were appearing on her skin and uncontrollable moans were escaping her lips. The thrill of the touch went through her body and she was now completely writhing in the pleasure of just his mere touch. Slowly the hands moved between her crack and worked their way down as she raised her ass in the air inviting the hands to explore further. Snape chuckled softly and playfully smacked her on the ass. She wiggled, signaling a need that was almost uncontrollable as the fingers finally find her swollen nub. He pinched it hard making her nearly jump of the bed. His hands began to rub and manipulate her clit as her juices began wetting the sheet beneath her. Hermione was beyond wet and beg for more by wiggling her ass faster. Snape 's finger found her folds and gently entered into her. They both groaned loudly. A second finger entered her making her clit pulse in pleasure in a way that it had never done before. She could feel the blood flowing to her nub as his hands brought her to the most intense climax she had ever felt in her life. She bit down hard on the pillow as she come, feeling her walls pulse and milking his fingers while liquid quickly flowed down his hands and her legs. Snape's strong hands wrapped around her hips and turned her over.

He kissed her passionately, their tongues battling for supremacy as he stripped his clothes at the speed of light. He picked her up and sat her down on his massive erection. He backed up against the bed head as she settled on what seems like 9 inches of solid rock. She whispered in his ear begging him to fuck her. He nodded and whispered "I am going to relax every single bone in your body." Smirking slightly he slowly began to massage her nipples. He captured her mouth in his. Slowly sucking her lips he nibbled down sending a thrill right down her spine. She could feel her juices start to moisten them both as he continued to slowly fuck her. He moved his hands down to her ass and slowly massaged as he continued the slow erotic ride. She found his mouth again and sucked his tongue until she felt him lengthen even more inside of her hitting a special spot she never knew existed. He covered her mouth hard knowing she couldn't control her screams. He grabbed the bottom of her ass and she felt the intense shock flowing south as she found her climax at the same time he did, pumping uncontrollably inside her .They both collapsed exhausted on the bed panting. He massaged her temple and then kissed her forehead softly. Hermione nuzzled closer to him and buried herself under his arm. In no time they were both asleep.

Hermione was rather rudely awakened by someone screaming at the top of their lungs.

"What the hell…" she grumbled stretching her arms expecting to find Snape next to her. He wasn't.

She grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around herself and sleepily walked towards the annoying voice that wasn't letting her sleep.

"GRANGEEEEEEEEEEEER COME NOW" was not something she wanted to hear at four o' clock in the bloody morning.

She entered Snape's bathroom and found him staring aghast in the mirror frantically scrubbing at something on his side.

Hermione, who hadn't managed to fully open her eyes, yet; couldn't see anything there.

"What on earth is the problem" she grumbled scratching her head and squinting in the light.

"I HAVE A LION RAMPAGING ON ME!" Shouted Snape waving his arms around in a full on panic attack.

Then she saw it. On Snape's skin was what looked to be a lion cub tattoo running all over him.

Hermione gapped , mouth open and completely forgetting she was walking around his rooms like she owned them.

"I can't get it off, I've tried everything!" a still shouting Snape glared at her like it had been her fault.

"I don't suppose you've sneaked out in the night and gotten a tattoo have you?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" he said, squirming as the lion cub moved up to his neck and looked pointedly at Hermione.

At that moment she felt something tickling her. Dropping the sheet she stared at her leg where a tattoo of a snake was calmly slithering its way around her body.

"GET IT OFF ME" Now it was Hermione's turn to start screeching and hopping around on one foot as she tried to brush the emerald green snake of herself .

"Aghhhhhh" she ran over to the bed and grabbed her wand and tried every single spell she could think of to get rid of it.

"It's not going to work" said Snape glaring at the little lion cub that was now pretending to bat his nose.

At that instant a message formed out of the sheets on the bed: "Just a reminder"

"This bloody castle hates us" scowled Hermione at the snake that was flicking its tongue at the lion cub on Snape.

"Don't complain I have a lion CUB, it couldn't be a snake noooo, it couldn't even be a full grown lion it had to be a friggin lion cub". Snape was not amused but it was kind of difficult to take him seriously when a tiny lion was prancing its way around his neck trying to catch its tail.

Hermione started laughing in full blown hysterics.

"I have a snake on me, I haaaaaate snakes" she half hiccupped at him (even although she had to admit it did look rather pretty when it settled around her neck like a very intricate necklace).

"I've never even heard of wizard tattoos that move"

"You haven't because they don't exist" said Snape closing his arms around her and nuzzling her hair. The lion cub batted the snake.

"I felt that" she said prodding the little lion cub as she moved apart from him.

"Great, now we have flipping animals that interact" she said as the lion stuck it's tongue out at them.

"How are we ever going to hide them from the rest of the school?" grumped Snape completely stumped.

Bother it, mumbled Hermione (when a Slytherin doesn't know what to do it is the moment to start panicking) and patted him on the arm. The lion cub found that incredibly funny and tried to pounce on her hand, the snake flicked him with its tail. Hermione and Snape just glared at them.

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_I'm sorry for taking so long to update and I know my chapters are kind of short but I have had an extremely busy week and couldn't concentrate because I have been humming non stop the song "Shut up woman get on my horse" probably the most stupid song in existence (shouldn't have been watching so many danisnotonfire videos...) But yeah, I hope you like it._

_I don't know when I'll update and I'm not exactly sure what to do. Do you guys want me to continue or would you prefer just an epilogue?_

_Thanks to everyone who is reviewing :)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: In which things get complicated**

Around six a.m. in the morning Hermione slipped quietly out of Snape`s rooms and headed towards her bedroom so she would be able to get into bed before the others woke up.

Now considering that at six in the morning it is still pitch black and that it was common knowledge that the two things Hermione was not good at were drawing and orientation, it was not a big surprise half an hour later she was still wandering around the freezing corridors of Hogwarts trying her best to find her way back to the Common Room.

"Gah, I should have asked Snape to come with me…" she grumbled pondering whether she should wake one of the sleeping portraits so she could ask the way or she should just wander around the school until breakfast time or until someone found her.

She swore loudly as the stairs she was standing on decided it would be a good idea to change position and take her to another floor and deftly jumping over one of the vanishing steps she peered out of one of the windows to see if by locating Hagrid's hut she could tell what part of the castle she was in.

Absent-mindedly rubbing her wrist where the snake was sleeping she held her wand out and started walking in what she thought was the right way.

The darkness of the stone walls loomed around her and the complete silence surrounding her were putting her nerves on edge.

Clearing her throat she started humming the soundtrack to the Lord of the Rings in an extremely epic way to keep her mind off the things that could possibly be lurking in the gloomy halls of Hogwarts (Dumbledore and McGonagall had said about three billion times each that Hogwarts was the safest place on Earth but after a three-headed dog, killer plants, trolls, a basilisk, dementors, dragons, Umbridge and other various deadly things that she had encountered in the school, she was not very inclined to believe them)

"Why do these things only happen to me?" she moaned, peering round a corner.

"It must be the Nargles" said someone in her ear.

"BLOODY HELL" screamed Hermione swirling around and landing in a rather undignified heap on the floor. Clutching her racing heart and nearly hyperventilating she pointed her wand at the person who had nearly given her a heart attack.

"Hi, I was just looking for a Blibbering Humdinger because it seems to have stolen all my shoes. Are you looking for them too?" said the dreamy figure of Luna Lovegood who was dressed in an extremely bright fluorescent orange nightie and green nightcap and pink bunny slippers.

Hermione just stared.

"Do you need help?" asked the younger girl holding out her hand to help Hermione get up.

"Can you show me the way to the Gryffindor Common Room please?" said Hermione, her hand still trembling slightly.

Luna gave her a big toothy grin making her Butterbeer earrings swing (yes, much to the amusement and amazement of her fellow Ravenclaws she managed to sleep with them on without pulling her ear off) and grabbed her hand.

Pulling her behind her she started walking in the opposite way Hermione had been going.

"That's pretty" she commented stroking a finger over the snake on Hermione wrist. "I have one as well".

Hermione stopped abruptly, pulling Luna to a stop.

"What do you mean? She said staring at the girl.

Luna pulled down the shoulder of her nightie to reveal a gently flapping eagle. "He told me where to find you" she said, twirling a strand of long blond hair and sucking on the end of it.

At that instant the stair they had been going down changed direction and left them in another corridor, vanishing as they stepped of it.

"Wait a minute, what is happening here?" Hermione, was not prone to violence but she was starting to contemplate bloody murder to anything or anyone that had decided to turn her year upside-down (not that being with Snape was a bad thing but everything was starting to get a bit out of hand).

"Come with me", Luna pulled the very reluctant Hermione behind her, seeming not to notice the death glares she was getting behind her back.

A flurry of bats suddenly flapped through the corridor, their screeching barely audible as they careened past their heads. They flapped nearly silently into the rooms beyond leaving the room from which they had come from seem empty at first glance.

The girls ducked and Luna beckoned Hermione into the room.

Hermione was fuming mad, she had had enough of the blasted rooms in the castle and their tendencies to do whatever they wanted. She spun to glare at the dreamy figure of Luna Lovegood who seemed to be doing some kind of strange dance ( the kind in which a person stands still and waves their arms around in seemingly random patterns and swirls their head around, and yes, it would make anyone look like a lunatic but everyone already knew that this was Luna's Nargle dance so Hermione wasn't completely baffled) and just as she was opening her mouth to demand an explanation there was a resounding THUMP and a black figure appeared from nowhere and crashed violently on the ground.

The black lump on the floor cursed loudly and gingerly stood up. The figure turned around and stared at them.

"GRANGER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?" bellowed the much bruised Snape. Unluckily for him the effect of his shouting was met only by a slight raising of the eyebrows by Hermione and a slight smile from Luna when she spotted the lion cub that was trying to nibble his ear.

"Wasn't me this time" said Hermione joining his side and pointing her wand around the room. Luna stood next to them and also pulled her wand out (from behind her ear) as the three of them inspected the place.

"Lovegood, twenty points off for being out of bed and another twenty for not explaining immediately what we are doing here" snapped Snape, joining Hermione in the glaring.

"I was told to help her come here, but I don't know anything else"

In an icy gust of wind, the Fat Friar appeared looking rather rushed and smiled down at them.

"I was told there was a meeting" he said, winking at Luna.

Before the others could say anything a gruff voice filled the room.

"WELCOME PROTECTORS OF HOGWARTS"

"You have got to be kidding me" said Hermione staring at the Sorting Hat that was in the corner looking very smug.

"The castle has chosen you worthy of this position; you must protect it with your life". Snape groaned and looked like he very much wanted to kick the hat but the person that looked angriest was the Fat Friar.

"Not me again, I'm dead, leave me alone" he said loudly making the girls tremble as the room went icy cold.

"You have the badger, it cannot change person until its last owner has gone permanently from the castle." By now the ghost looked like he was going to join Snape in his endeavor of kicking the blasted hat.

"But I'm not even in Slytherin" pointed out Hermione as the little snake flicked its tongue at Luna.

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_Sorry for taking so long to update, I hope you still remember me :). I'm thinking about changing the title of this story, any suggestions?_


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